T1W3 The Girls Gang

I wanted to join the gang as I wanted acceptence. I e-mailed CY. I importuned her to allow me to join the gang. At that time, she had just went back to HK, and she was preparing for Secondary1. CY tried her best to help me as she used to be part of the gang. In our many e-mails, she would always tell me that she would try to settle it. in the first one she replied, she was not sure if OX would let me in. On the other hand, the gang was still in bad terms with Elyssa (nicked named a piece of shit in chinese) and Ng Min Yi (we i had the same name as Ng and happened to be in the same cca- guzheng at that time). CY reckon that both of them would make the gang hate me. CY tried to tell Jia Yim as well. In her next e-mail, she told me that she could only help me after my exams as Jia Yim have not been online. She also wanted me to pass the message that she promote me to the gang first. 'U must also be in gang as all my best frens are in gang!' that was what she wrote to me. I did as told. When the gang sort of ignored me, I surmised that they did not believe me. maybe only Jia Yim did. However, OX premised that I just wanted to be accepted and had made up that e-mail.
Then, it was near the PSLE when the quarrel started again. I was forced to take sides. As both were my friends, I did not want to take sides. Thus, I spent most of my time under the stairs with a book and some food from the canteen. Incontrovertably, the stairs was a haven to me. At first, i used the stairs outside the guzheng room as it was very quiet there. Later, I decided to stay at the stairs outside the HOD office, where the prefect noticeboard is. It proved to be a better place as I was able to look out to the assembly area and it was a very short distance from the assembly area. I was able to eat and read in peace. Thinking I had betrayed them, both parties treated me badly. I have never had these feelings before. My emotions were mixed. I felt angry with them, I was confused, scared and lost. There was nothing I could do. They made me feel as though I am nothing but a pawn in a chess piece or a tool they can use.
After the exams, I was kept busy with school activities like the planning of the P6 Graduation Ceremony. I had volunteered to help out in the P6 graduation committee. CY was busy as well, still trying to adapt to her secondary school life, loaded with homework. Ultimately, I did not join the gang. I even swore that I never want to be in the same secondary school as any of those horrible people. I wanted to go to a place where they would not be able to harm me. That was also one of the reason why i agreed to go to a school so far east when I stay at the west.